HOW DID THAT GET THERE?

I woke up one morning to find a belly growing with a baby inside... The belly grew and grew and grew...

Then there was a labor and Delivery... You know the baby has to come out after all.....  So there was push and push and push (some more pushing)... I mean, have you ever looked at a girls private parts, they aren't normally the size of an 8 pound baby... But HELLO!  That is where God made them come out.  I guess I can't complain... By looking at the other openings on our bodies, that probably is the best one...  I mean the nose, ear and belly button, would be really bad. 

So as I was saying... The baby comes out... And then lets just say, the ligaments, bones, fat and muscle and skin that moved to get the baby out, don't always just go BOING and bounce back in to place... (Unless you have really good genes, but I'm not talking about you)

And so you have things and parts that no longer go where they should be..  Things are spread, drooped and sagged.... There are marks on things that you didn't put there, as if someone took a brown/red or Grey marker, and just said... "Ha, she's having a baby, lets write all over her belly, so when she's done it will look really really funny"  But I never saw anyone with that marker... Alas I have marks...

And then you notice flaps as if you were converting into a flying machine, but really your still just a human with new flaps that don't belong in your skin... Where did those come from, I ask myself? 

But now we must feed the baby... The new bundle of joy that turns me in to a proud happy milking machine.  I can't complain, I mean I carried those things around with me for 30 years, they mise well get their use... and so they work!  and work!  Ummmm... And they work....

After A year, I can say that I had two more giant flaps!  Yup, and each year after, I notice them getting closer to touching my belly button.  Soon I won't even need a Bra.  I'll just where a belt and it will hold my pants up and my boobs in....

And then there are sleepless nights...  Lots of those... And a few more of them...Not just the newborn kind... Oh no... It doesn't stop...  There is teething (ouch), and sick bugs (so sad), and first days of school (excitement and nervousness), and potty training (you have to catch them before they try to pee in the waste basket thinking its the toilet in the middle of the night), night waking (just to play), sleeping walking, good dreams, bad dreams, and those nights where they just don't want to sleep.  So after several years of these happening on and off, there are now droopy eyes.... Yup even the eyes are drooping...

Last night 5 years after having a child and 5 years after turning 30, I walked past a table and knocked something off... Ummm?  But I didn't touch it with my hands or my arms or my leg... How could I have possibly knocked something off of a table without touching it?  

I am clumsy after all but not that bad?? Maybe it was the wind?  Yeah, that was it, had to be the wind?  YEAH RIGHT?  What kind of wind would swoop through, while all the windows are closed and drop something on the floor.... Nope, it was me! My back side.. The part of me that seems to suck in every calorie I eat and  stores enough fat for an entire nation.. The same part that seems to be in competition with my cellulite to see which can reach my knees first.

While looking in the mirror I just have to laugh...  I mean what else is there to do???  Really... Gravity has taken its toll... And I'm thankful everyday for all my marks and flabs and everything else that brought me my wonderful little boy..... 

I'm also thankful that I don't live in outer space right now?  When gravity lets go I hate to feel the slap in the face that gets me from this bod.  Talk about something going "BOING"  It would make knocking something off the table seem like nothing.

Comments

[NEE NEE]

Oh my goodness this beats them all...hahahaha..It is so hard to not laugh loud (don't want to wake hubby) but oh well can't hold it in..smile!