FINDING LOVE (AGAIN)

It all started about 18 years ago...And its all my Best Friend's fault...(ok not really, maybe, just a little bit)....  *wink*

There was this guy... An annoying drunk guy who was preparing to head out to join the Navy... I had no time for relationships... I was getting ready to graduate High School and had many plans ahead of me.. I was working three jobs, finishing up school, taking college courses, I new where I was going and certainly didn't picture this drunk sailor (long haired) wannabe in to the equation ..... Ha!!  That is when I should have learned that me and plans just don't mix.... And yet I still try to plan things... Guess I'm a slow learner...

Anyway... I was the caregiver type of friend... making sure everyone made it home OK, making sure those that were sick made it to the bathroom, and Then there was this guy....Bushy Haired, blue eyed, guy.. He was sick, and not looking so good from his beverage choices.

He kept eying me... but I was NOT interested....  Made sure he was OK... Got him to the bathroom... he eventually cleaned up, took a shower, and came out to see me... I got him to sit on the couch and chill for a bit... he laid down, looked up at me and said

"You are the girl I've been looking for all my life, I'm going to marry you some day" 

Ummm HOLD THE PHONE....  Sorry charlie... there will be no marriage... I have PLANS!!!  And by the way, I don't like you......We ended up talking after that night,  He reminded me several times of that chat (he remembered everything)   We saw each other a few more times, we even went out on a real date... I was still not interested... he was leaving to join the military, why would I get interested?

read more... click below....

Then he left, I sent cards, he sent cards.... I started writing, he started writing...  And about this same time of December 18 years ago...  the letters came more frequently.. I remember rushing to the mail box every day in suspense of what I would find....  And then right around New Years Eve it happened....

I was at work in the Mall with my friend (the same one that started this whole thing) and I saw this vision on the escalator.  The Vision was standing next to my friend's brother...

Who was this man in Black?  Shaved clean head, leather Coat, and muscles on top of muscles... Who could this person be with the blue eyes and tanned face... Surely Not... Surely it couldn't be...... But it was!!

The same guy that left months earlier that I had no interest in seeing, was this amazing vision, that stole my heart... We spent many many moments together until he left again... I don't think I've ever felt that empty hole like I felt the day he pulled away from my Mom's Apartment... When would I see him again?  Could I handle not seeing him again?  I was a WRECK!!!  I slept with his clothes, I read his letters over and over again.  He sent me poetry, and beautiful hand drawn pictures. 

We ended up writing every single day... We talked on the phone so much that I thought my ear would dry up and fall off... He came to see me, every chance he got, even driving 21 hours, just to see me for 6 hrs, then drive back 21 hrs before roll call...  We went to see him... (My Friend and I... Yes the one that started it all).... Our trip was a blast... I still remember that trip....

And then we couldn't take it anymore.  Being away from each other was too much to bare and All plans got thrown out the window... We were married exactly 1 year from the day he told me we would be..... I've never lived down that by the way...."I told ya so?"... To this day he says "See, I told you so"... And he did... I have to give him that one....

Fast forward several years, many jobs later, several moves, a couple pets and a child....And you'll find a different me.... One that just got out of a hard time with this same man that I fell in love with so long ago... A time that sadly still sticks out in my mind... a several year time frame of us growing and changing and not liking each other so much.  Moments where I wondered if I still loved this person that I shared a home with....And times where I found myself thinking "Who am I?  Who have I become?  Why am I here?" 

And now I find myself on the other side of that, looking back thinking.... Wow.. you did it!!  I made it to this place where I'm finding love again...Our home our pets, our child.....I have a new found Independence by getting through to the other side.  I've made friends and have a good job, started exercising, and became more crafty... Finding who "I" was, ended up being a great side effect of those hard times. 

Until then, I was a wife.... And now I am a Person of my own right, who happens to be head over heals with a man that drives me ABSOLUTELY CRAZY!!!  (not always in a good way)

Just like I have found myself through this adventure though, my Hubby has become a different person as well.  A different person that I had to learn to like again...  A person that is sometimes not so likable, and other times.... He's so likable that I get chills.... When I see him helping a friend, or buying something for a friends child, or asking about my Mom every day... Taking care of the dogs to help me out, even when I'm home... Trying to find me gifts and worrying so much that he'll let me down.. (even if he doesn't take clues... I accept that he's not wired that way, as my Mom always says)  And then I see him trying to change things that he knows are wrong....And I see him sitting with my kiddo to build a house out of Tinker Toys for the 500th time, and not complaining about it....Or carrying him on his back because Veg wants a ride, and Hubby is dog tired from working all day..... 

I realized today while looking in to those big blue eyes... That we are different people... not the same that started this journey 18 years ago and yet, we are still here and that being different is OK... Never leaving each others side no matter what life through our way.... I can't tell what the future holds, but I know I've found love again... Even when I didn't think it was possible... I realized today that I love this goofy, pain in the butt.... And I'll take his crabby times, his annoying times, his goofy (didn't think about that) times that drive me absolutely NUTS!!  I'll take those things because I love him... And I found Love Again!!

**Besides, if he we didn't have goofy times, then what would I have to blog about?

Comments

[NEE NEE]

Normally when I read your blogs I am laughing so hard my belly hurts..this time I am in tears..Not tears of sadness but tears of joy..Thank you God for helping bring this union of marriage back to a really good place. Love you bunches

[melissa]

What a wonderful story.

I seems my hubby and I are going through some tough times like you mentioned. It's hard, but reading this gives me hope. Thank you for sharing.

[Vegmom]

Thanks Melissa... sorry to hear about your hard times... ...soon you will find something on the other side thats even better also. I do believe the hard times make us stronger. Hang in there!!