Hubby and I had a great talk tonight about things of the past and how we've improved.... It was ironic that some of the topics came up, because I was having the same conversation about him with a friend the other day.
So I began to ask him, WHY? "Please explain to me how you don't just see something with out me asking. Why do I have to leave a list?" And he said "Because I'm a guy, and we are different"...
Then we talked about these two scenarios.....
Real Life Scenario from 2003:
I finally fall asleep and baby starts crying.. Hubby sitting next to baby doesn't pick him up because he thinks I will.
I have to WAKE UP and Get Baby and bring Baby to me..... Most of the time I wanted to be with Baby, this was All Good! But sometimes I would get quite frustrated because I needed to sleep for my health.. Hubby is right next to baby, why can't he pick him up???
And my Mom would say "Did you ask him to?" And I would say "NO, I shouldn't have to ask".... She would say...
"You have to ask, they aren't wired the way we are"
....this would go on, things would build, I would get frustrated and she would say "Hunny, the faster you realize that they are different then us, the faster you will feel better, get some help, and not be so frustrated"
"So you are saying that I have to wake up, physically GO get hubby and ask him to bring me the baby?"
"YUP".. she would say! Well then I might as well get the baby my self... "NO" she'd say "because after a couple times he will learn what your needing"
Ya see, Hubby thought since I had to feed the baby from the tap, that I had to get up anyway. Never dawned on him that if he brought baby to me, it would be a little easier on me....
I should have asked, is what he told me tonight.
But it would be several years before I understood, and began to agree with my Mother... I began to accept that we ARE different... And if I want stuff done, I just have to ask... Now things like this really make me laugh and I no longer get frustrated.... Most of the time I know to ask and or redirect. My Life has gotten SOoooooo much better since then.
But there are times, I still forget to ask....
Real Life Scenario in 2010:
Hubby has a pile of stuff that needs a home. I told him I would buy totes for his stuff....He agreed that was a good idea. I thought we were on the same page... Bring totes home and set them on the floor IN FRONT OF STUFF.... Does he put his stuff in them? NO.. he moves the totes over and out of his way.
A couple days go by, I move the totes back.... Another day goes by and the totes are moved but not filled.....
Finally, I decided to fill the totes...
Another day goes by and he says "OOOhh, that's what those totes were for, why didn't you ask, I would have done that?"
Ladies.... if there is one thing I have learned from my Mom and my Hubby... YOU HAVE TO ASK!!!
Sometimes more then once! Even leaving a list requires THEIR NAME ON IT....It makes things so much easier...
I Found this speaker a while ago... He CRACKS ME UP every time I see him, and it goes perfect with this post:
