If you know me than you know that I REALLY loved my Mini Cooper. I spent so much time in that car. It kept us safe in tornado conditions, white outs, icy conditions and everything in between during travels to and fro. I put at least 200 miles on it most days, use it as a mobile office and drive EVERY where!
That car has been to Washington DC, South Carolina, Georgia, Michigan and every state in route to those places. Multiple times.
IT FIT Me!!! Every feature, every little circle design element, the whole car just FIT me. We could get something as big as a Ping pong table in it, all our luggage for a two week trip and a set of golf clubs too. There was absolutely Nothing about that car that I didn't like.
So I go to the dealership for it's maintenance appt. And a sales guy is waiting for me. "I knew the shpeal, I'd heard it before". So I looked right at him and said as nicely as possible:
"I know what you are going to say and I'm not interested. I love my car and don't need a new one so don't waste your time"
For two hours he came back with offers, choices, questions. And my answer was the same:
"You should really stop putting all this time in to this because I do not want or need a new car"
I called him out on several "un-truths"... It became a comical exchange on both of our behalf because at no point did I intend to get another car and at every point did he intend for me to purchase one.
3hrs later, 20 different offers, a headache, and a huge financial savings, I ended up with a new car.
This girl has stripes, she looks beautiful!
But she was ordered and when she arrived, I discovered that she was missing a ton of features. She was boring in comparison, a step down from the fun that was my other Mini.
I told myself that if I was supposed to get rid of the 70,000 miler, than it would work out to where I wouldn't have a choice.
Well, when you do the math and discover savings on payments, insurance, warranty and service, the answer was a no-brainer.
What I didn't consider was that the newer car with only 4 miles on it was lacking all the basics that my other had and how absolutely spoiled I had become with those features.
This is one of very few decisions that had me following my pocket book instead of my gut. I know it was likely meant to be. The other car needed some repairs that I couldn't afford anyway. But it was the first time EVER that I realized how attached I could get to a silly car.
Now my new girl has stripes. We will get to know each other and travel the roads of this fine country. But I'll always have a special place in my memory bank for my first Mini.
Wow, life sure does change with just little bits of time passing.
Since I last posted:
Veg officially became a Middle Schooler, I've completed two corporate wellness initiatives, Turned 41, learned to play golf (she says with a snicker), went on two hikes, completed an insane Memorial workout, got a new car and started a youth program that has been AMAZING!!!
And it has only been a couple of weeks since I last posted.
"Life happens pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it" ~Ferris Bueller
I've had so many people tell me what I should or shouldn't feel since my Mom took her ride on the Angel train. But I'll tell you what I feel....ALIVE!!!!
10 yrs ago the hubs got a big green used riding mower for the yard. It worked until it needed work. Some things he fixed, but when it eventually just wouldn't start, he decided that was God's way of telling him he needed more exercise.
And back to the push-mower he went.
He donated the riding one, and as soon as the donation facility got it, the thing started right up. Guess they didn't need exercise. Ha!
Fast forward a couple years, and he is sick of push-mowing. So he buys a big red used mower. He said it will cut his mowing time down to an hour. Problem is, the thing is so big that it doesn't fit through spaces of our yard ( a LOT of spaces).
And going over tree roots makes things break or bend and stall. And the battery didn't get him through half the yard before it died on the first try.
He says to me: "Hey Hercules, come move this mower to the porch"
Him: "you can't really move this"
And I Did....
Him: Back to push mowing
Day 2 with the big red mower and a charged battery....
Makes it 1/3 of the yard and it dies. My turn to push it again but this time it gets hung up on the fence.
"Oh I'll just pick it up and move it" I said.
Him: "you can't pick this up"
And I did.... Bent down just like I was flipping a tire, lifted the back off the ground and turned it to get through the fence.
Him: "Well Damn"
Me: <feeling accomplished>
Him: Back to push mowing
So now we are on week three with this mower that he is determined to make work and needless to say he has added a couple hours to every mow since he brought that bad boy home.
Maybe God is trying to tell him he still needs exercise.
When our friends were here, the kids went "mining" and Veg decided to use his money to have one of his rocks made in to a topaz gem as a gift to me.
My friend and I were talking about the likelihood that they really use the "mined" stones to make the gems. But we didn't tell the kids this.
Upon arriving home, Veg was so proud to show his Dad what he did for me but the Hubs started to make a comment about the likelihood that Veg was scammed. And I nipped that annoying voice before it came out by reminding the husband what a nice gesture this was and we should leave it at that.
Several weeks later, Vegkid is looking at his gem next to some of the other rocks and says:
"Mom, you know they probably didn't cut that from the rock we gave them. But I still think it is pretty cool"
Ha! So there ya go... He knew all along but wanted a pretty cool gem anyway.
Well I purchased it and took this picture before heading out to a seminar:
Thankfully I brought the jean jacket with me because at this seminar I had to wear a microphone pack and would have had no where to put it. The seminar was amazing and I was totally comfortable in my little dress. For the record, I found workout style shorts to wear under so I didn't have to worry about flashing anyone. I also found casual slip on shoes and cool little socks that you can't see.
I didn't even know those existed.... THAT tells you how far away from fashion I really am.
But it was so funny all the pointers I received after posting this pic, everything from needing skin tightening cream (yeah, someone really wrote me that) to needing high heel shoes to pronounce my leg muscles. Others suggested that I needed jewelry and scarves. Many of my friends offered to take me shopping, which I could have probably used. BABY STEPS PEOPLE... I bought the dress... be happy!
At least I didn't walk around like this:
My favorite comment was from my Dad, saying that Veggie people should be more colorful and that I needed to add color to my "outfit". What does that even mean? Because I eat colorful foods, I should have a colorful scarf? So does that mean if you only eat brown, processed, boxed foods that you can't wear color? Hmmmm?
I could also hear my Mom in my head as I walked out the door:
"I've been trying to get you to wear a dress for 40 years, NOW you decide to wear one?"
She would have loved it. And honestly so many people gave nice comments too. As in overwhelming nice comments that I probably didn't deserve. Even folks at the seminar complimented my "outfit"...
Which I laugh because it is just a $15 Black dress, not so much an outfit.
But I will say that it was quite comfy and will likely be warn again. I may just have to go buy another one.
Shhhhhh, don't tell my Mom. *smile* And NO, I won't be getting any skin tightening cream... Or scarves... and probably not any jewelry, or heels...
This weekend was full of people writing, texting or calling me to make sure I was "OK".
You know, surviving Mother's Day and all.
I loved that so many people thought there was a reason to check on me and that I have that many amazing people in my life to begin with. But really I was OK!
My kiddo decorated my bedroom for a morning surprise and made me a ton of pictures. We had together time, quiet time and a bunch of outdoor time, plus I got all the house chores done to start the week. Couldn't have been more perfect.
I thought of my Mom a ton, like I do every day, but only in ways that would make her smile. She wouldn't want me to be sad, I'm pretty sure of that.
Then today I was submitting re-enrollment forms for the Vegkid's school and up popped this screen.
"Remove from Family"
Right between the eyes. Of course I know what they meant, but goodness that sounded so cruel.
Seems like they could have said "remove from profile" or "no longer on the pick-up-list", but having to confirm that you are removing someone from the family, it might as well have said:
"Kicked the bucket"
At least then I would have gotten a laugh out of it.
So I shook it off then filled out everything in the online portal and pushed the submit button like any good Mom would do.
That is when it hit me, why there is a bucket list because when you die, you kick the bucket.
But then I still don't get the whole bucket thing. What does a bucket have to do with dying.
Well anyway... The boy is re-enrolled and life goes on. I'm getting so good at these little bumps in the road, I could start a business to help people with their own bumpy life diversions.
Oh yeah, I've done that. Ha!!!
Coaching myself is quite fun, especially when I answer myself.
So here we are close to Mother's Day, the first one that has my Mother with me in spirit but not in life and I'm thinking, "Hey this isn't so bad"
I mean we never really celebrate much anyway, so what is different this year?
I'm actually feeling pretty good. I'm sure there will be lots of milestones to overcome and this is just one of them. A simple little bump in the road.
Well a few weeks ago I was making cards and thought "This looks like a nice Mother's Day Card"
Slap #1- You don't have a mother to send it to silly.
So then I made a couple and figured we would send them to the husband's Mom and Grandma. As the week approaches I gave them to him to fill out and he says:
"Why don't you fill them out since you don't have anyone to send a card to"
Ohhhh Slap #2
***note to men, that was the wrong answer***
But here we are a half a week from this Sunday and I'm a Mom every day of the year, so was she. And since I carry my Mom with me every day of the year going forward, Mother's Day is really nothing more than another day. A Sunday.
A Happy Day!!
Regardless of the card situation and no one to call, life goes on. Her life ended but mine is still going strong!!
So from this Vegmom to all of you, Happy Mother's Day EVERYDAY whether you have a reason to celebrate or not!
The boy and I went golfing. Or should I say he golfed and I carried the bag then attempted to swing at a ball when I was given "permission". Ha! Here is how it went down:
Yesterday, one of my CF buddies and I were chatting about our weekend adventures. He mentioned golfing and I explained that I had never been golfing unless Putt Putt counts. For which he said that Putt Putt does not count.
Fast forward to this morning.... Vegkid and I were planning to go play Putt Putt when I told him what our friend said. Of course the child now wanted to play golf if Putt Putt doesn't count.
It was all just in good fun but the next thing I know the child is dressed in khakis and a collared shirt saying that he was going to teach me how to play.
For 40yrs, I have avoided this sport and had no desire to go this morning. None, nada, zilch!! Golf is the one thing his Dad can do with him that they enjoy (or so I thought) and so golf is the one thing they can do that gives me the house to myself and know they are having fun.
But Vegkid begged and pleaded his Dad to go with him to no avail. It had been forever since they went golfing and I couldn't stand to see the child pout.
Fine, I said. "If you will teach me the rules, we will go."
That is how our golfing adventure happened. On a 9 hole kids course, the two of us conquered the greens, the bees, the lost "favorite" ball that got me climbing a fence and I learned the basics of the sport that is Golf!!
WE - HAD - A - BLAST
You will see from our practice swings that we both have a LOT to learn regarding actually hitting the ball and having it go where we intended. But with no one behind us, we just took our time and enjoyed the beautiful weather.
We laughed and laughed. Veg quickly decided that with practice, I would get better, but for now it was best that I just carried the bag.
He did "let" me swing a few times, so that was the extent of my first golfing day but we will be back. *smile*
A long long long time ago I wrote something about body's shifting after having a baby which I found printed out in my Mom's stuff. She thought it was pretty funny as most women could relate. But in truth, I'd always had a little fluff in the trunk. Never realized how much until I started cleaning out my closet. But looking back through pictures I really noticed it.
At one point on that print out, I said something like "And I'm not talking to you people that can still fit in the clothes you wore at age 14".....
So the funny part of that is, when we were at my Mom's collecting our things (where I found the written article) after the funeral we found a dress that I had at age 14. (It was from a school dance or I would have never been seen in a dress)
I just had to put it on and see if it fit after all this time. Sure enough, it fit and could even be zipped up.
C-A-Razy!!! Anyway, that isn't the point of this post... in fact the point of this post has NOTHING to do with that white dress from my teen years, nor that I could now fit in it again, nor that I said in my very own article from years past something about not being able to wear a 14yr old outfit.
The point of THIS post is that since I was 14, I've probably purchased a total of 7 dresses and most of those looked like sacks. I did get a couple skirts in recent years, but nothing that I can wear now (too big). The reason I never purchased dresses on a regular basis and the ones I did get looked like sacks, was because my hiney stuck out too far to accommodate anything else. So the real point of this post is what happened today when I tried on a little black dress.
Something drew me to this dress, maybe it was the cost ($15 on sale). Or maybe it was that I have several events coming up and wanted to look somewhat professional. In any case, I decided to try on the little black dress. Size small... and it actually fit... With my running shoes on and spandex pants underneath (just got back from the gym). Couldn't have been more ME! Quite funny actually.
I walked out of the dressing room and said to the attendant... "Excuse me! I have never bought anything like this in my entire life, if I were to actually wear it, what do I need to do to make it look presentable"
She smiled at me and said that taking off my gym shorts would be a good start. Bahahaha... Yup! Got that! Then she explained the whole slip, bra, special undies stuff that I would need and how I could wear a jean jacket over the top. As I'm adding up the actual cost of this $15 dress to purchase all the stuff that goes underneath... I took a selfie in the mirror of me in this dress and posted it on my Facebook Wall.
Asking my lady friends to help with this dilemma. I got everything from "Wear lace" to "Go Commando". The responses were hilarious. But I also received some of the nicest compliments that I think I've ever heard. More comments than probably any of my other posts and then a bunch of people telling me what shoes to buy.
Shooot, I have to buy shoes too? Can't I just wear my running shoes? Goodness, this acting like a lady stuff is hard work. Needless to say, I was so overwhelmed that I didn't purchase the dress.
But after all those comments, I may just do it... Me and a little black dress. The question will be if I actually wear it, and if I ever find the right accessories to wear it with. Because commando in a dress on a possible windy day is just NOT going to work for me. But the dressing room lady said "You can't have lines or people will know where your undies are" Oy, let me tell you about lines... I got lines on top of lines and its got nothing to do with the undies....
Soooo, at the end of that really long tale about me and the dress and all the really fun dialogue that happened with my friends and family all over the country because of it, I decided to send the Hubs a text of me in the dress. My text said... "It is only $15, what do you think?"
Here was his response:
"Yeah, it is a black dress, so what?"
Pretty sure he didn't notice there was a person wearing the dress... But in either case, he was no help in the decision of whether or not I should purchase it. Except that maybe I should definitely purchase it. *wink*
As I said the other day, I made it to the end of the CF Open this year.
What I have learned to love about competing in a sport like CrossFit is that no matter how many people are doing the same workout or how many amazing scores go up on the board, you are really only competing against yourself.
Yes, if you are a top athlete, you want to win. But people like me? We just want to get through the WOD and improve from the time before.
Even better is watching people succeed that didn't think they could. Some of my favorite moments in the Open was watching friends and strangers do movements that they had never done before and that look on their face. That surprise in their eyes. Best-Feeling-Ever!!
As for me? Well I surprised myself A LOT!!
This year I had Double-unders, Toes to Bar, Chest to Bar, and 3 lifts that I couldn't have done the weight a year ago.
Last year, I only made it to the third round, this year I made it through all five.
Last year, I was in a different place mentally, while this year, I had some struggles built in. At no point did I not try, at no point did I give up and at no point did my coaches or community give up on me.
Every week my son and I would watch the WOD Announcement together. And each week he would cheer and wait patiently for my results. His support of me and the lessons I realize I'm teaching him are worth every bruise, sweat and tear.
The first WOD was Double Unders and Snatches. (Still don't like to say that word). I got through 168 reps and was super excited.
14.2 was Overhead Squats at a weight I'd never done before. My goal was to get ONE in the allowed time. I got TWO!!
Then I did a C2B just because I could even though it didn't count.
Knowing I was already having a hard time with weight amounts, 14.3 had me a little nervous. But it turned out to be a Deadlift and box jump WOD that I got through several rounds.
Happiness happened and then it was time for 14.4! This one was Rowing, toes to bar and a bunch of other stuff if you made it that far (which I did not). Good news, the rowing counted for 60 reps. Better news, I PR'd three of my rowing times.
Then I was hoping for TWO T2B in the allotted time. I tried for the entire 10 minutes and got THREE which was better than two! And I got points on the leaderboard.....moving on!
14.5 the kryptonite of CrossFit athletes everywhere! Vegkid was so proud of how far I'd come and said "Mom, you HAVE to finish"
The workout was Thrusters & Burpees while jumping over the bar.
The crazy part was to finish this workout and get a score on the leaderboard (to finish the Open). You HAD to complete the amount of reps (168) in unlimited time. Which means you had to finish all reps no matter how long it took you.
I brought food and figured it would take me all night. Seriously! I'd never done a Thruster over 75#'s and suddenly I was going to do 84 of them at 65#'s.
Knowing I couldn't let myself or my Vegkid down, I pushed forward expecting no better finish than an hour. Having all my CF community cheering, an amazing coach, and an awesome judge, I finished that thing in 41 Minutes.
Took me longer than anyone in our Gym, but I finished and didn't quit. My longest WOD EVER and seriously thought I would pass out. But I finished!!
After I caught my breath from 14.5, ate and hydrated, I watched a few more people and than went to the car where I found a message from my kiddo. A phone message telling me how proud he was and I cried like a baby.
After the emotional roller coaster of the last few months, those little words made my whole life better!!
What I neglected to share in the rest of this story is that I never expected to make it that far in the Open so I signed up for our local competition scaled version. This way, when I missed a week for RX, I could pick up the scaled version and keep going.
Since I finished the RX version, I also had to do the scaled each week. So every WOD above was done twice. Some with adjustments and way more reps all culminating in a friendly competition that will go down this weekend.
At the end of all this, I'm pretty much at the bottom of all the leaderboards. But I finished and my son is proud.
I love this kid of mine but we are in the midst of having three weeks together without any school, no trips planned, no camp, and no one to watch him while I have business appointments or need to get work done. Of course he is age eleven now and can virtually take care of himself.
I'm super happy about this because for the first time in his school career, we have three weeks off with NOTHING planned and we get to sleep in almost every day. HOWEVER, this also means that all of my appointments have to be at night, and I'm up till 2am getting computer work and research done.
Realizing after day THREE that this is NOT going to work long term, and electronics will NOT be his babysitter, I decided boundaries needed to be set and he is NOT happy about that one bit!
Mom, I'm booorrrrrreeedddd....
Mom, I'm hunnnnggggrrryyyyy.....
Mooommmmm..... It's been 20 minutes and I can't go that long without electronics..... What am I supposed to do with my time now?
Oh the drama..... the drama... THE MADNESS.... what did we ever do without a video game???
Boredom is good, use your imagination, find things you enjoy again out of the 10,000 toys and building materials in this house then stop in the kitchen where you may find a butt load of food that we just purchased, on your way to the fort in the pretend forest where you may find a reading nook with 5000 books that you HAD TO HAVE and purchased with your own money.
Go outside and feel the wind, fly a kite, a frisbee or toss the ball. Heck, take the dog for a walk to the pretend village mail box to bring in the pretend $100,000 check that will pay all our bills so I don't have to work during your squandry of rebellion.
Yes, it is true my son that you can and shall keep yourself busy in between our fun adventures and quality time that is spent in between the hours of getting stuff done and sleeping.
We shall come out on the other side of these three weeks with our sanity, happiness, and house in tact.
We can look back through our 26ish years of knowing each other and put all events with specific pictures. I became more of a photo nut than she did but just about every trip and/or adventure or milestone in my adult years is documented by some kind of picture. (Except the deaths... we don't take pictures of those)
So after my Mom's burial and the dirt was placed on top, my bestest friend came up to me and whispered just what I needed to hear at that exact moment:
"There isn't a picture so it didn't happen"
It made me laugh and cry but was just what I needed to hear. Which is what my bestest friend is good at. Always saying the right things at the right time.
In my head it was just a perfect ending. Yes my mom was gone but without a picture I didn't have to remember the sadness, her pain, or the saying goodbye. Those simple words made me focus on what I do have pictures of and all the good memories. In my silly head and silly rationalizing, the rest didn't happen.
Of course I knew the rest happened but something about not having a picture of that part gave me closure. End to an era. When I get caught up with my albums, hers will end with our last visit. No more pictures with NeeNee in them. Closure!! All is good!
Fast forward 40+ days:
My hubs decided to take a mountain adventure. Kudos to him for adventuring all alone, however he came home to show me the pictures. As I was scrolling through the pictures on his phone, I saw something, that made me pause... A big plot of dirt in the middle of a bunch of snow.
I thought "That looks like my Mom's grave".... Once my eyes focused with disbelief, I questioned...WHY DOES HE HAVE A PICTURE OF HER GRAVE???
I looked up and asked him, "WHY IS THERE A PICTURE?"
He says... "Because you always need at least one picture of everything, and I thought you would want one of the snowman next to her grave"
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! But it didn't happen... I don't want a picture, there should NOT have been a picture... Not a picture of THAT. The album STOPS at our last visit. The happy visit.....
AND something clicked, the waterworks clicked... the pain in my chest, the ache in my heart... the reality that it HAPPENED!!
Not the death part... that part I get... I'm cool with... The death part was easy compared to her suffering... I get that she is no longer living... But the events of that day, that week... the ones that I don't want to remember, the ones that I'm totally OK with not having pictures of.
All of a sudden there is a picture which means it happened, I wanted to throw the phone across the room. I wanted to reach my hand in, take the picture out and somehow reverse it. Not delete it.. that wouldn't do enough. I didn't say a word and the hubs just kind of looked at me, took his phone back and walked away.
It was the silliest little thing that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else, but it sure did trigger some waterworks.
And today the final chapter was written as my Mom's husband said goodbye to this world....
What an interesting month this has been!!
Still haven't decided which direction this Blog will take in the future but it seems odd not to share here... Maybe more for me than anyone else. And maybe someone else will read it someday so it can be for them too.
My brother always says that life is full of stories and this Blog is my story!