Several people have asked lately how I handle public situations and food for my son. If he feels different? If he is teased? etc. This is going to be a long one... but lots to tell...Also, please note, I'm not tooting my own horn here... just trying to explain how we have avoided a lot of problems the past 7 years.
Let me know your thoughts or suggestions....
Here's the deal on this one... We are ALLLL different!! Even as an Adult, I have to deal with bringing my own foods and have no ill feelings about it.
The differences are endless and I tried to put that in my Son's noggin at a very young age. Skin color, height, names, hair, teeth, religion, food choices.... Everyone is different, and that is what makes us all so great.
I teach him that his differences are AMAZING, because if everyone was the same, what kind of world would that be. Not to mention, he was made this way......By feeling empowered with his differences, it takes the power away from those trying to do harm.
If someone teases because he is short, he will stand tall and say "That is the way God made me"
OK, so food choices aren't as obvious, but they are just as much there.... Dairy free, Gluten Free, Peanut Free, Meat Free, People are all different.... I know someone that is allergic to watermelon.. GASP! Its true... and another that has problems with Cantaloupe... ACK!
I know someone *wink* that will pick every little onion off a meal, and another that refuses to eat anything with seeds. The reasons and choices are endless. And what people don't understand, they will question.
There will be people in my son's life that give him a hard time because he eats different foods. I still have those people in my life. But I don't think there will be any less that tease about our last name, or what size he ends up being. I still have those people too. And we'll definitely need thick skins to handle the words. But how we handle those situations is what makes or breaks who we are. And I'm hoping that I've been able to teach by example, with my head held high.
I try to explain to him that people with questions, genuinely don't understand. And people that may not be kind, are only doing so because they don't understand or haven't been taught. We use those as great examples about how NOT to treat people and again, why being different is a good thing. We certainly don't want to be like the person that wasn't being kind.
In addition, I'm very honest with him at age appropriate levels about the animals that people eat, their lives, and Factory Farming. We discuss the problems with Dyes, Artificial flavors, colorings, ingredients and fake sugars. He knows all about High fructose Corn Syrup, and MSG. And he has lived first hand their affects.
We enrolled him in a nutrition class at a local store. And he had the best time. He still talks about how much sugar is in a Soft Drink, and why he won't ever touch one. I highly encourage parents to find programs for their kids like this.
We discuss honestly and truthfully when we see someone with a medical condition, and how that can be avoided. He knows how my grandparents died... And each of them with a food or cigarette related illness...
When he tells me about a friend at school with a sick bug that has been out for a week or two, it is a great opportunity for him to pray for that student. But also talk about how thankful we are that his cold only lasted 2 days.
So when he brings up that child's food, we can talk about what they eat every day, and how it affects them differently. He has friends with allergies, that don't necessarily avoid the allergen foods and they have soooo many medical conditions.... These are all learning experiences with age appropriate discussions. And we started these discussions very early to help him understand WHY we make the decisions we do.
He also knows about all his Daddy's Medical conditions, and his Grandparents, and how they are all considered hereditary, but he will be able to avoid that horrible pain by continuing down this healthy path.
We don't go to Circus's or rodeos because of Animal reasons, and he knows those. I took him to an Animal Sanctuary and let the owners talk openly so he could see why places like that are needed. He's been to a couple different farms, each with animals that are treated humanely and not used for food.
I also take him to the Farmer's Markets with me to see the difference of fresh local organic produce.. We try to grow organic produce in our own yard. And he'll come to the grocery with me since he was very little and we discussed organic vs. non. What GMO is, and how to look for the non-gmo labels.
We surround our house with ONLY healthy foods and Healthier alternatives to junkie foods. So that is all he knows. Those are the tastes he has created. We allowed him to eat on demand as a baby and figure out when he was full, so he never over indulges with his eats. He'll go for the green stuff on his plate 90% of the time. I don't force him to try anything, nor do I force him to eat everything on his plate. Allowing him to develop his own taste buds, likes and dislikes, and not only what I think he should or shouldn't like.
And all that to preface the Public eating... Because he has the foundation, I find it less difficult for him then it could be to eat differently. And because that is all he knows, he'll stand proudly when people talk and actually offer them information.
When we go to Birthday Parties, we always bring our own cupcake or cookie, or lunch/dinner as needed. And if we have someone over to our house, we'll make them something based on their allergen foods. If we go to a pot luck type thing, we'll bring enough of our own goodness to share. (but I don't go to a lot of these, because I have a strange potluck phobia)
I always always always have snacks in my purse, because you never know what situation you'll find yourself in. We almost always bring reusable water bottles with us, which avoids the soda/juice at parties.
So far, kids have been curious, they've wanted what he has, or they've begged their parents to sit by him. The only time he was "teased" or treated poorly based on food was at a camp. And I loved his come backs... "Why would I want your fake fruit, when I have the real thing right here".
It has actually been the adults that have had a harder time. The kids have been great for the most part! We do pack lunches every day to school or camps. And we pack lunches or snacks when he goes over to friend's houses so they don't ever feel obligated to find foods that he can eat.
We always have "special" snacks and drinks for soccer games, as the stuff that is brought by parents/coaches is most definitely not appropriate for human consumption.
I guess I make sure that no matter what situation, he is not hungry, waiting for food, or feels left out/sad because he can't eat, while others are. By doing this, he never has those feelings of doubt.
He always has an option available to him. And that is the one thing I can make sure of. I don't allow my self to go through the "What will the parents think if I bring this?" Because that sets my son up for seeing that example. Since bringing something is so normal to him, he doesn't find it wrong. And frankly, I don't either. In some cases, I will tell the parents first, but in some situations, I just do. I can't expect them to have food we will eat at the ready... I'm also not going to let my kid go hungry or feel deprived.
And lastly to this gigantic post of huge proportions.... I tell the teachers, and keep it documented at the school what he can and can't have. And I tell my Vegman... Have told him this since he was old enough to speak...
"IF YOU EVER SEE SOMEONE EATING SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT TO TRY, LET ME KNOW AND WE WILL TRY TO FIND AN ALTERNATIVE"
There are so many alternatives out there, and comparisons, that I have been able to find every request in a Vegan and Non-artificial way!! I've even found Vegan jelly beans and gummy desserts. While he is not Vegan any longer (eats eggs now thanks to Hubby)...and some months he has had chicken while out to eat, he, for the most part eats Vegan foods.
He has never had fast food, never had cow, pig, or any other critter except Chicken and a bite of fish. While I'd prefer he never tried them, it was his Daddy's choice, and one that I respected, knowing all the other things he went with out for my reasons. I've always said that I wouldn't force my son to be a Vegetarian, once he was old enough to make decisions for himself... That is where Hubby got me with the chicken. So I had to fold.... BUT.... I'll do everything in my power to teach, that eating healthy will offer health. And it is really that simple!
By not eating animals, we are not contributing to their deplorable conditions... By eating healthier, organic, and local where possible, we are helping to protect the Earth in our own little way.
So that is that... Questions? Thoughts? Suggestions?
I'm still learning along this road, I call parenthood.... That's all I really can say for certain! *smile*