Vegmom Moments

A Little Like Me

As a parent, you never know what is sticking and what isn't in the minds of our little people. We can see their personalities blossom and watch their behaviors at home but what are they like when we aren't around?  I've always said that I wanted my son to have choices, so he could problem solve when necessary.  I wanted him to do what was right but not because there was punishment when he didn't.  I wanted him to learn right from wrong because it felt right or wrong.  I wanted him to eat because he was hungry and not because it was forced. I also allowed him to be picky and quirky to discover what he liked and didn't.  Allowed him to pick out his own clothes, even if they didn't match or he wanted winter boots in 90 degree weather.  I'd encourage his strong will (within defined real life boundaries) because when it really mattered, I wanted him to have strong will and be picky.   When confronted with peer pressure, drugs, alcohol or who knows what kids are faced with these days, I wanted him to have the tools to stand up for himself. 

So I would explain, educate, and share; but at the end of the day you never really know if your parenting decisions were right.  All you can do is follow your gut and hope for the best.  Then you send them off in to the world, and hope they become decent human beings with compassion, kindness, good quality of life, ready to face the world, and become part or the solution in the challenges they face.  You hope they will be picky, strong willed, and fight for what is right.  

But then there are days that they become a teen.  They roll their eyes, call you stupid, and you get a note from the teacher or the principal, or you spend an entire evening in battle of the wits, and you worry.  "Did I do the right thing?".....  Those days pass, and you are reminded that in fact, he is just fine!   He's a teen.  A very normal teen with emotions, and hormones raging that he doesn't even understand.  So you learn to be understanding (within defined boundaries) You provide more responsibility and offer real-life consequences until one day......

....At the age of thirteen my guy went away with his class for five days.  Now I've sent him off before to long camps, friends houses, or with family, and love the feedback I get.  But this is the first time as a TEEN, with incredible TEEN-TUDE that he was given the freedom away from family to eat what ever he wanted, spend a couple hundred dollars if he wanted, be crazy with his peers if he chose, and for the first time in his life, he could have totally let lose to be whomever or whatever he wanted. Turns out, he wanted to just be him and I couldn't be prouder.  People would say:  "You just wait, he will rebel"...  You know what?  I'm just not worried about that anymore. 

Sure, we've had hard days.  And before the trip we had the "Stay out of trouble talk" and the "Keep an eye on your things" chat.  We discussed the safest way to carry money in a big city.  And that he should be respectful even if the assigned activity was boring, and anything else he may need to know in this environment.  But I also told him to feel free to have fun and try new things.  His dad even gave him extra money to buy what ever he wanted (against my better judgement because I thought he should have earned spending money by working for it).  While I made sure he had enough money for the best quality meals at the available options, to splurge and order whatever he wanted. 

This kid... my kid.... This TEENAGER with incredible new TEEN-Tude at home <that suddenly takes 30 minutes to roll out of bed on a good day>... went off in to the world and not only was he respectful, responsible, and compassionate to others, but he woke up early to organize what he needed for the day.  He not only took care of all his things, but when he came home, everything was back in the exact bag pockets they left with.  After five days, two hotels, and three states, he was completely organized and didn't forget a SINGLE thing.  He even brought the unused snacks back in their original packaging. 

As for the money?  He spent responsibly at meals, brought more than 1/2 of it back home, remembered to give tips to wait staff, and refused to eat at the fast food restaurants.  He also avoided all the sugar drinks and pop that others were consuming, and stayed away from everything that may not like his stomach.  When I asked if he decided to try red meat or dairy products, he was like: "DUH <with teen eye roll> Why would I do that?".... Ha!  Of course, why would you do that!

And why did he not have wi-fi in the hotel? Because it required an email address, (he only has a school email address)...  The other kids suggested fake email addresses.  My child thought that was dishonest and didn't partake. 

They also went shopping, had candy stores, general stores, gas stations, a hundred souvenir shops, and so much more.  What did my kid spend his Dad's surprise money on?  A BOOK...  Seriously, He bought a BOOK to READ!  ONE BOOK!!!  As in the paper kind to add to his collection.  He could have spent his food money and his dad's money on what ever the city offered and we wouldn't have been the wiser.  But he spent food money on food.  And he bought a book!  Ha, I'm still in awe!  At his age, I was pretty responsible, but even I would have spent the money and come home with a lot more than a book. 

At one point upon my utter gushing of proud mom words, he says... "Well Mom, what did you expect?"....

Ha!  You know what?  I shouldn't have expected anything less from that boy!  Turns out, he is going to be A-OKAY!  Smart Alec, Pain in the Tush, AND ALL....  

There is no telling what will happen as he gets older, moves out, and has a life of his own.  First, I have to get him to ride a bike and eventually drive a car but that is a whole other story.  In fact, he'll change 1000 times before then, have a 1000 more life experiences, and make 1000's of poor choices as he learns how to navigate this thing called life. But he will always be HIM, just like each kid is uniquely them.  

As for parenting, we all do the best we know how.  Sometimes it is right, and sometimes it isn't.  Sometimes they will drive us up a wall, to the ceiling, and back down again. We may even totally screw it all up.  But watching this guy grow in to a mostly responsible young man is certainly fun to see.  Especially when he organizes his luggage exactly the way I do mine.  <Heart flutters>

 

A Bike Ride

What?
Another adventure you ask?
Why yes! Yes indeed!
It is the year for trying new things after all, so why not hop on over to Virginia and rent a bike to ride down a mountain? Sure! Let's do that!

Funniest part is neither the hubs nor I have been on a bike since the Vegkid was little. And even then, it was 5 miles max with a toddler trailer in tow.

But the Virginia Creeper is a trail that is mostly downhill. So you shuttle to the top and go zoom zoom. (Or chug chug in my case) down the trail on your bike. We did the 17 mile stretch because that is all we had time for as we got up there late and had to return the rental bikes. But next time, I'm going for the 34 miles. Oh yes I am!

The husband said that was the most fun he's had since he can remember. <Of course he has trouble remembering this morning's breakfast, so there is that>

But seriously. It was great and then we got a last minute room at a bed and breakfast which was simply AMAZING!!

We snuck in to town for dinner, watched the sunset and the moon rise. Then in the morning, we were up at 6am. So we sat on the porch to watch the sun come up over their farm. I decided I could live on that porch if food was delivered.

Needless to say, while the teen was away, we had a pretty awesome weekend including hikes, bikes, scenery, and some pretty great food too!

Trying new things in '16 marches on.....

 

 

Fun Hike Day

While the kid is away, the parents will play:
Yup! The Teen is on a five day excursion to see historical things with his school class so the hubs and I decided to something adventurous.

Turns out the first place we picked was hit by a hurricane. The second place was all sold out. The third place was a big game weekend and so hotels were taken. And all of the other spots were too far away in the event we had to go pick up the teen for some reason.

And then the hubs got a big ol'shot in his bad arm which made him sick and I came down with a cold. Bah!!!! In the end, we decided to have a long weekend full of "dates" instead of traveling anywhere as the signs were definitely against the travels.

 

Yesterday was a nice lunch and shopping excursion. Today was a hike! A LONG hike. The five mile kind. 5 miles isn't a lot for me on flat land, but when you are weak from feeling bad, still have a hurt foot from the washing machine, and your are climbing on rocks for the better part of 3hrs, it seemed like a lot more than five miles.

We had a blast though.

Even saw a bear (from the car thankfully) and the water was beautiful. I wasn't impressed with the waterfall itself but the pools were amazing. And the views along the stream were gorgeous.

I'm so thankful to live near this kind of beauty. And that both of our legs held up. The hubs was definitely a trooper on this one and our weekend still has two days left. Woot!!

 

Date adventures continued.....

This Election

Wow!!! So I just received a series of text messages from someone I haven't heard from in a while.

They weren't the typical:
"Hi, how have you been?"

Or:

"I haven't heard from you in a while, is everything okay?"

I don't even think it started with a: Hello or greeting of any kind actually.

Instead it was an expectation that I would call someone to help crash their phone lines because of their opinion about the election. My kind and respectful response stating of course that I wouldn't do such a thing was greeted with negativity, hateful words, and degrading comments. Upon removing myself from the conversation, the texts continued.

My phone is set to loud because the teen is away on his trip. So the dings kept coming like a scratch on a chalk board.

This type of bullying from an otherwise calm and loving individual is what this election year has come to and that is sad to me.

If you like who you are voting for, kudos to you. But I've learned through the years that you will never change opinion with negativity and I personally and professionally won't take any part in that.

Heck, if I wanted to share negativity to push an agenda, I'd be sharing the videos of animals being tortured and telling people to stop eating them. But that isn't how I do things and anyone who truly knows me, knows this to be true.

This is like the time someone contacted me after my mom died to "see how I was doing". But when I replied, they immediately told me how saggy my knees looked in a picture and why I should buy their products. Hmmm, no thanks!

Or the call I got from a supposed employer the other day whom got angry with me when I told her that I never applied for the job and questioned how they got my resume.

People are interesting, and everyone has an agenda. But at the end of the day, without kindness, you've got nothing! There is enough hate, negativity, and rudeness in our world. Stop it!!

Just STOP It! My goodness, it takes so much more energy to be mean to people than it does to just be kind.

As for the election, I will be honest! This is the first year that I've registered to vote because I saw what it meant to my teen to be involved. And I hadn't told anyone that besides my brother until this post because frankly, it is nobody's business.

But I'm now spending time learning as much as I can about the people and the process. And honestly the hate coming from that text, and the posts I see on social media, is part of that learning process. If these are the actions from otherwise calm individuals incited by clergy and politicians, it speaks volumes about the message and those delivering it.

For me, I live my life sending out positivity as much as possible. I'm not perfect by any means, but I'm certainly not going to be called evil because I won't follow someone's agenda. And if anyone thinks this is a good way to change minds to your agenda in any way shape or form for any topic? Yeah, it doesn't work. Stop it!

I'll close with a pic of my dog that tied herself up in my sweatshirt because she was tired of that day.

And the fact that she may be the only being in this election year stating the truth:  "If you don't have anything truthful to say, go hide in a sweatshirt" Ruff!

One of Those Days

You know those days where you wake up feeling Meh'! The teen gets home from school with teen mode escalated. You have one last load of laundry to finish for the teen to take his school trip in the morning and the washing machine breaks. You get a note from the teacher 18hrs before they are supposed to leave that the kids can't bring snacks with nuts, so back to the store you go. You hurt your toe trying to fix the washing machine, then a parent from your fitness class sends the most pitiful picture of both her kids in casts from breaking their arms in other activities. Yeah both her kids broke their arms the same day. And then your toe doesn't seem so hurt. But you forget that you put water on the stove to make tea and since your husband removed the smoke alarm from the kitchen, you are not reminded with an annoying very welcome beep until you realize there is a funny smell coming from the kitchen. But the house didn't catch fire, you just burned up the pan enough for it to literally crack. And then you help the teen finish packing and he goes to sleep saying he loves you and the world is right again.

I may or may not have had one of those days today.

Of course I don't have a picture of anything from this day in the event I did have one like that, so I'll share this shot of a rainbow inside of a sunset from a couple of days ago because it is just cool!